Tagged: Mystic Electronica

5 Incredible Things Jay Electronica’s Album Will Do

This article was also featured on brokencool 

The fact that Jay Electronica is a good rapper is well documented; his delivery is crisp; the content is thought-provoking; and his wordplay is fascinating. Add to that the numerous co-signs he’s received from industry moguls and you would think you have a recipe for success. However, the wait for Jay Elec’s debut album ‘Act II: Patents of Nobility’ has been a long one, with fans seeing little more than a Mountain Dew commercial and a video-game-inspired throwaway single for their servitude. A few weeks ago, Jay Electronica announced that the album is officially done and in Jay-Z’s hands, but that the boss hasn’t been able to choose a single. That’s understandable seeing as how Jay Electronica didn’t record an album, he recorded an experience that will do more for the hip-hop music, and the world, than anything that has come before it. So if you’re wondering what took so long in a world where “artists” can create entire albums without ever leaving their basement, here are five things that Act II: Patents Of Mobility will do:

End the Israeli/Palestinian Conflict

While researching his new album, Jedi Electronica traveled all over the world looking for inspiration. Upon his journey, he accidentally stumbled onto the literal stairway to heaven and had a brief conversation with God. After picking his brain for a few minutes to learn more about humanity, God decided that having a conversation with Jay Electronica was too much for His brain to process and sent him back to earth on the wings of a Phoenix, but not before He cleared up exactly who He promised the ‘Holy Land’ to, and for how long. Track 3 on the album breaks down the situation, but you have to listen closely as the resolution is cleverly disguised in a metaphor about two kids fighting at recess over a juice box.

Predict the Weather Up Until 2030

While preparing to make Act II: Patents Of Mobility, Jay found that he had accidentally read all the books in existence during one rainy Sunday afternoon. This meant that Shaman Electronica was forced to skim over the only collection of tomes remaining: every edition of the Farmer’s Almanac dating back to 1936. In the process, Jay inadvertently figured out the complicated weather matrix that dictates the earth’s climate and formed an algorithm that lets him predict future trends. In short, once you can decipher Jay’s similes, Track 6 gives you a day-by-day weather forecast for the next twenty years. He also inadvertently reveals that Global Warming is a myth.

Tell Us The Truth About Carbs

Shoddy investigative work and unreliable experts have led to one of the most perplexing questions of the last ten years: are carbs good for us? But on Track 4 Jay Electronica clears up all myths surrounding bread and pasta with his own eye-witness testimony. That’s right, eye-witness. You see, Jay was taking a ride on his nimbus cloud one night before a thought dawned on him; he knew how the soul and spirit worked, but what about the human body? So, he shrunk himself down to the size of a yeast organism and ventured into the body of Eryka Badu on a piece of milquetoast. He followed the path of the cracker as it traveled through the body and it’s nutrients were absorbed until he deduced the truth about everything nutritionists have disagreed on. On top of explaining the difference between saccharides, the track also samples the sound of Baddu’s large and small intestines.

Decode What The Mayans Meant Re: 2012

Since there’s only so much you can learn from the current zeitgeist, Jay Electronica opted to spend the summer of 2011 traveling through time. After finding himself far deeper in the past than he anticipated, Jay was taken captive by a tribe of Mayans and put up for sacrifice. Fortunately, he quickly figured out the dialect and convinced the people to free him. Upon further conversation, the Mayans grew to not only like him, but to respect his views and induct him into their inner circle before crowning him Mystic Electronica. Track 1 contains a few bars that allude to whether or not the world will be annihilated at the end of this year and clears up exactly what the calendar meant in the first place (which he knows because he wrote it).

Teach You To Speak Russian

The final track of the album caps off the sonic masterpiece also known as Act II: Patents Of Mobility, but did you know that listening to it will also make you supremely fluent in Russian? Though the song doesn’t explicitly speak the language at any point or give instructions to the listeners, everyone that hears it will walk away properly able to communicate with anyone in the former USSR. Though it has yet to be explained by modern science, the flow Jay Electronica uses in this song alters you brainwaves to the point where you can speak another language. There have been reports of some learning Ukrainian instead, but that’s one of those things that will get ironed out when the song is properly mastered.