Tagged: artists

Haiku Reviews – Wrath Of Caine

This article also appeared on Passion of the Weiss

What happened to Terrence Thornton? The braided half of the former “underappreciated” (his words) pairing The Clipse has abandoned his daily rituals of working the Virginia corners and slinging cocaine in favor of flights to Hawaii with Kanye and building on his #menswear collection, but you wouldn’t know it by listening to his raps. Wrath of Caine is Pusha T’s attempt at getting our attention before he releases his long-time-coming debut, My Name Is My Name, but if his first solo album will be anything like what’s presented on Caine, I already miss No Malice.

Once you look past the glossy veneer of sing-along guest features, “once upon a time” coke tales and grating Jamaican accents, what you’re left with is a hollow attempt at reworking a tired drug dealer cliche. At best, Pusha T has become a Young Jeezy clone who is allowed to make songs with members of MMG, down to his trademark “talent” of ending three separate bars with the same word and trying to play it off as clever.

The best parts of Wrath Of Caine don’t actually involve Pusha at all. After 36 minutes, the biggest takeaways for me were Kevin Gates and his Future impression; French Montana and his straight ignorance; Rozay talking about soft loafers and organic herbs, and Ab-Liva coming out of nowhere to steal the show. Even “Revolution” was only listenable because it made you nostalgic about better days when Pusha worked hand-in-hand with The Neptunes instead of being an auditory hypebeast. Thank God (or, in his eyes, thank Pusha) that Wale was put on a track so it wasn’t a complete bukkake (get it? Because everyone came hard).

Intro
Jamaica accents,
and online porn confessions
oh, and coke stories

Millions feat. Rick Ross
Haunting pianos
and pure, raw introspectives.
Plus, Ross fabricates

Doesn’t Matter feat. French Montana
If your IRA
isn’t maxed the fuck out, French
doesn’t care for you.

Blocka
One up on T James:
put diamonds on everything.
Including your gun.

Revolution
Throwback to talent
while describing your fall from
grace to cool patterns

Road Runner feat. Troy Ave
Trafficking music
to incriminate you for
your next traffic stop.

Only You Can Tell It feat. Wale
The solitary
example of how to own
a song on your tape

Trust You feat. Kevin Gates
Flaunt your buzz knowledge
of new artists. Also flaunt
designers you know

Take My Life feat. Andrea Martin
Great guitar riffs with
enjoyable lyrics that
name drop Paris shops

Re-Up Gang Motivation feat. Ab-Liva
Back from the dead to
impress the old Clipse fans and
introduce new ones

I Am Forgiven
Asking repentance
for actions you have taken
to be Ye’s cronie

Make Money Off Rap Without Rapping

This article was also featured on Vice/Noisey

I believe it was Plato who said it best when he announced that “the rap game stressful”. Knowing this fact, millions of people still want to gain access to this seemingly illustrious game every year, polluting our RSS feeds and Twitter timelines in their never-ending search for some semblance of stardom. Who knows what draws these people in: some are in it for the recognition, some are in it for the free stuff, and others are in it for the slight possibility that they will meet, and be subsequently disappointed by their musical idols. Whatever your reasons for becoming a cog in the industry machine, you should know how to go about it properly. With that being said, here are four ways to make money in the rap game that don’t involve you actually rapping:

Become a Promoter

Do you have a cursory understanding of your city’s live-music venues, a fiery passion for exploiting up-and-coming artists, and access to your parent’s credit card? Then you too can be part of the fast-paced world of concert promoting! It’s simple, just find your favorite artist through Twitter or Facebook and find their contact information (or pester whichever friends and relatives you can find on social networks) and “drop them a line”, as the kids say! An artist who’s just starting out will ask for less than $15,000 to make an appearance in your town, and your parent’s credit limit can take a hit for their precious angel, so go ahead and wire the money! Now all you have to do is promote the show, co-ordinate the artist’s arrival, pick them up at the airport and make sure that they survive their vices long enough to hit the stage! Congratulations, you are now a concert promoter! You also may or may not have broken even! But at least people will think you’re cool because your name was on the flyer, so it’s an overall win.

Start a Website; Promptly Sell Out

In the age of WordPress and Tumblr, not knowing how to create a basic website could be seen as a character-defining fault. In fact it’s so easy, I’m pretty sure that a cat can create a basic domain and promptly start populating it with self-portraits and have that website become the third most popular kitten-pic aggregator on whichever coast it’s on. Point being, anyone can share things online and attract an audience if the content is good enough. Use this to your advantage by creating a site dedicated to the rap music you like and want to share. If this is done right, your blog will be in high demand in no time! People will start inviting you to events and giving you free things in exchange for positive coverage, and you should promptly accept! Don’t deceive yourself into thinking that you’re an unbiased spectator of the culture; but do know your price in both ad dollars and free bottle of Ciroc.

Host an Integritous Mixtape

Let’s say you went the other way with your website and became the mythical “unbiased spectator”. Congratulations! You have surpassed all the barriers needed in order to call yourself a hip-hop “journalist”! Ride this wave for as long as you can, showcasing your integrity as often as possible (this is done by discrediting anything that “others” see as entertaining) and constantly retweeting or reblogging whatever inane compliments you receive. Don’t forget to retweet hate from time to time so that your audience can see that what you do isn’t easy! Eventually, you’ll be approached by artists or promoters who are looking to borrow your highly reliable name and attach it to whichever struggle-project they’re cooking up in the hopes of gaining credibility. Accept if their budget is as “credible” as you’d like.

Share Your Opinion on Credible Ad Networks

Not big on pressing a series of keys repetitiously until something of value comes out? Don’t worry, YouTube has your back! With the way that YouTube’s ad network is set-up, almost every video that you post can be advertised on, which means big $$$ for you. Why bother writing things when you can just speak into a camera instead? Just choose a topic or twelve, start up your webcam, and let loose your stream of consciousness. You could talk about anything rap related: single and music video reviews; event recaps; new album “unboxing”. Anything that you think will lead people to watching your face on the screen for five minutes at a time is a great. If you record about 10-20 of these videos a day, you’ll be seeing monthly checks from Google for hundreds of dollars in no time!

Ab-Soul In The City

This article can also be read on Passion of the Weiss

Ab-Soul is fake smart. See Ab-Soul rap over a flipped Last of a Dying Breed beat and use polysyllabic words in order to say nothing at all. See Ab-Soul use elementary lyrical-miracles to maintain his rank as the second least charismatic rapper on TDE with Only 1. See Ab’s Soul. I’m not saying that Ab doesn’t speak about real topics, I’m just saying that mentioning your chakra or third eye in every song doesn’t give you license to act like you’re smarter than your listeners.
I present to you, a TDE allegory. Let’s look at rap in 2012 as a sort of “city”, and then let’s imagine that each Top Dawg is a character in said city, trying to make it by the skin of their teeth. Then let’s imagine that this city is New York and the TDE members are thirty-something women that are obsessed with shopping. What’s this? It looks like we’re left with something that looks strangely similar to a comparison between the Sex and The City & TDE characters! (Bear with me guys, it’s the end of the year and the complete Sex…City series has been quietly playing in the background of my apartment courtesy of my girlfriend for the last, like, 3 weeks)
Kendrick Lamar is obviously Carrie Bradshaw for reasons I shouldn’t have to, and won’t, expand on; Schoolboy Q is the lovable street act who would never turn down a “feature”, if you know what I mean (Samantha Jones); Jay Rock is the even keeled and often unlucky Miranda – fitting since Rock is more or less the red headed stepchild of TDE. This leaves the plutocratic and bubbling character of Charlotte York for Ab-Soul, a pairing that works surprisingly well when you consider that Ab is the only Top Dawg not to come out of the projects and the fact that his hair is always expertly coiffed.
For better or worse, Ab-York’s career will continue. He will continue to draw interest from the younger artists that are looking to attach themselves to an accessible, but still ‘conscious’, rapper (see: Joey Badass) and he will reach new fans with experimental couplings (see: JMSN). But like Charlotte York, Ab-Soul’s future is destined to be filled with slight regret and envy towards his peers. Charlotte never had her own Mr. Big, and she ended up being the only one in the group who became the stereotypical Stepford Wife. Similarly, Ab-Soul will always be in search of Kendrick’s “big” first week, and he’s most likely to fall into the trap of becoming a stereotypical “smart” rapper with nothing to say.

You, Suck, Mac Miller

This article also appeared on Passion of the Weiss

You know what I’m thankful for? The revival of the concept album. Coming into 2012, the concept of a concept album seemed to be all but dead, replaced by the overwhelming stench of swag and ratchet pussy. So, I’m thankful that artists like Action Bronson, El-P and Kendrick Lamar have slowly righted that ship by releasing thematic projects throughout the course of the year. Another concept album that’s made its way into my 2012 playlist features smooth jazz strings and horns that work in unison with the artist’s adenoidal voice to create an ambient and bluesy lounge ambiance. It was recorded by Mac Miller.

Going under the pseudonym Larry Lovestein and backed by “The Velvet Lounge”, Mac Miller‘s “You” is a free five song collection that has Mac producing and doing something that is painfully close to, but not quite, singing. After you remove whatever preconceived notions you have about Mac Miller, “You” becomes somewhat enjoyable; a slight nod to a jazz age that Mac missed by a good 40 years. And while the crooning is more akin to French Montana than Michael Buble, it consistently squeaks by enough to get Mac’s saccharine message of love across. On the production side, songs like Moment 4 Jazz prove to be an example of Mr. Miller’s understanding of the placement horns and keys, enough to keep you entertained for a 4 minute instrumental.
At the end of the day, “You” is still a Mac Miller album, so chances are good that the people who would most benefit from having a lounge-jazz record in their lives won’t bother downloading this. On the flip side of the target demographic, most of Mac’s current fans won’t appreciate this record as anything more than an experimental fling with a saxophone and a fake name. Rightfully so, as even some of the more “heartfelt” lyrics come off shallow as a drop of lean in a styrofoam cup.

Raindrops make me feel romantic,
Let’s run away, sail to the Atlantic.
Two of us, such a wonderful pair,
Stuck inside this love affair. 

Am I thankful for Mac Miller? Fuck no. But I’m not supposed to be, due in large part to the fact that I’m over the age of thirteen and my parents would (presumably) allow me to listen to MGK. However, that doesn’t mean that I agree with the popular opinion that he is the herpes of Hip-Hop. I like to think of him more as an ingrown hair on the face of music. It may be unsightly, but hopefully, if you ignore it, it will just mature into something that doesn’t embarrass. 

Guess Who Two 9 is

This article also appeared on Passion of the Weiss

Even though you’ve probably never heard of Atlanta’s key!, his newest solo offering ‘Guess Who‘ feels comfortably familiar. It sounds like what would happen if A$AP Rocky wrote a snap-dance song ($napdance?!). The greatest songs are the ones that you can’t help but memorize. The songs that grab your attention for all the wrong reason and don’t let go, whether it’s because of their production or a catchy hook. Guess Who has both, and it serves as a proper coming out for key! as one of many faces of Two-9. What’s a Two-9? It’s a small “conglomerate” of artists out of the ATL. It features two groups (fatkidsbrotha & Retro Sushi), two cameramen, and five artist/producers: Curtis Williams, Damien, Wavy, Snubnose and the aforementioned key!.

In 2012, 90% of all rappers fell into two categories: trying to sound like Meek Mill or trying to sound like Rocky, who is really just trying to sound like a “prettier” version of Houston rappers in 2005. Hip-hop has really become one of those snakes that eats itself, only it’s wearing gold fangs. I predict that 2013 will consist mostly of groups like Two-9: unlocalized sound that appeals to as many people as possible while the consisting members dress like absolute shit. And I’m okay with that if it means that we can finally find out who’s fucking my bitch.